(no subject)
Aug. 20th, 2019 03:33 pm"Daddy?"
"What is it, Coop?" Clint asked, not looking up from the legal pad on the table in front of him as he jotted down numbers and made quick sketches, deep in the last stages of planning that porch renovation he'd been promising Laura he'd get to for a year.
"Is Auntie Nat really my aunt?"
The unexpected question made Clint pause mid-seven and look up, meeting his six-year-old son's gaze as the boy watched him with those big dark eyes, so much like his mother's, his expression more troubled than he was used to seeing. If trends at this age held for the rest of their lives, then Lila was well on her way to being the more energetic, outgoing kid, while Cooper was quieter, more reflective, and probably more sensitive. Since Lila was just exiting the toddler stage it wasn't a guarantee that those designations would stick, but Clint had a feeling they would - which meant that Cooper would likely notice a lot of things without speaking about them, just like he was doing now. "What makes you ask that?"
His son blinked at him, not moving his gaze away and looking quietly solemn. "Micah's father saw her when she took me to school and asked. He says she doesn't look anything like you."
Setting down his pen, Clint turned to his son, all attention focused on an important subject but also not entirely sure how to handle this talk, not when Cooper was this young. "People don't have to look like each other to be related, Coop. You don't look like me and I'm your dad."
"I look like Mommy. And Lila looks like you. We both look like one of you, and you say I have your nose, and Lila has Mommy's mouth."
It was true. Clint sighed, sitting back in his chair a little, reaching up to rub his face with his hand as he tried to parse this situation. Laura was much better at dealing with this kind of thing, being able to find the right words to handle all the emotional things. Clint was very good at noticing and cataloging all the pieces, but he didn't always know how to put them together - Laura still teased him, over a decade later, about the fact that they'd gone on something close to a dozen dates before he'd even realized they were dates. She'd had to clue him in to it, too. But Laura wasn't here, so it was up to him to figure this out. "Come here, buddy."
Without hesitation, Cooper crossed the living room and climbed into his lap, even though he was getting too big for it, and Clint put his arms around his son to hold him there so he wouldn't fall off. The question about his family had clearly disturbed him, and Clint stifled a momentary wish to shake the man that had disturbed his son. "Okay. So. You know not everyone has a whole family, remember?" Cooper nodded, remaining silent for the time being. "Like me. My parents died when I wasn't much older than you."
"How?"
"They were driving home late at night, in a storm, and there was a crash." There'd also been a lot more to it than that, but Clint wasn't about to go into all the complicated feelings his parents invoked in him, not when his son was only six.
Cooper tilted his head up at his father, watching him closely in an uncanny imitation of his mother. "Is that why you and Mommy are always so careful driving and make us wear seat belts?"
"That's part of it. But that means until me and your mom got married, I didn't have any family. And I lived with a lot of other kids who didn't have family, too. So we were kind of like a family."
"And Auntie Nat was there?"
"No, she came later. But she also didn't have a family. They got separated when she was really young, and she doesn't remember their names." Clint paused, glancing around the kitchen for some sort of inspiration - and his eyes snagged on one of Lila's toys that had been left out, a plush doll of Jessie from the Toy Story movies, and his brain made about six instantaneous leaps from one thing to another in a lightning flash to the thing that might just help Cooper to understand. "You remember us watching Lilo & Stitch a couple months ago?"
Cooper nodded, looking so solemnly focused that it almost made him laugh. "Uh-huh. Lilo and her sister wanted a bigger family, so they went and got Stitch, so then they ended up with all of them as family."
"That's right, Coop. And you remember what Stitch said when the space people were trying to take him away at the end?"
His face scrunched up as he thought about it, but it was a losing battle from the start, even for a very smart kid. "...Ohana means family?"
Clint let a smile cross his face as he resettled his hold on Cooper's shoulders. "Well they said that, and that's a really good line, but that's not what I meant. That's okay, I'll tell you." He had something of a ridiculous knack for remembering specific phrases and lines people said, and at least right now it was coming in handy. "Ready? He said: This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good. And he'd changed by being in that family and coming to love them. And when your Auntie Nat and I met, it was like that - she was alone and didn't really know how to handle a lot of people, so I started spending time with her to help her out. And the more time we spent together, the more we realized how much we were alike and how well we got along. So we hung out more. And it just got bigger from there."
"So she's our auntie because... you chose her?"
"We chose each other. And it's one of the best decisions I ever made, right up there with marrying your mom."
"And we're really family?"
He nodded, once, firmly. "Uh-huh. She's our little blue space gremlin." One second too late, he realized that that had been the wrong thing to say, because Cooper would undoubtedly repeat it to Nat and then she would retaliate against him. Ah, crap. At least she'd probably be amused over it before she whacked him in the head. "Or not really a blue space gremlin, but it's the same idea. You can choose your family, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And the family you choose can be even more important to you than your 'real' one."
"But what if you like your real one?" Cooper asked, looking troubled.
"Then you can have both." Clint made his voice as firm as he could to reassure his son, and he was relieved to see some of the worry disappear. "A family is the people who love you and help you and do fun things together with you, blood or no blood. And if anyone ever tells you different, tell me and I'll have a talk with them."
"Okay, Daddy." Cooper nodded, shifting a little in his hold, and Clint released his grip to let Cooper slide to the floor. The boy gave him a quick hug which he returned, then walked off towards the stairs, but stopped and turned back before he could exist the living room. "Daddy?"
"Mmm?"
"...Can we watch it again tonight?"
Clint didn't try to hold back his smile at the question. "Sure, buddy."
"We got everything?"
"I counted fourteen bags at the end of the checkout, and we've got fourteen bags in the car. I think we're ready to roll." Clint shoved the rear door of the Armada closed, glancing around as he did so out of habit to make sure that nothing had fallen out of the cart or been tossed out by an energetic four-month-old baby. Sure enough, one of Nate's rattles was on the asphalt, and he bent down to pick it up as Laura focused on buckling him into his car seat and Lila ran the cart to the return corral. "You sure we don't need to stop anywhere else on the way home?"
"I'm sure," came Laura's voice, slightly muffled from being inside the car. "And I'm not stopping anywhere else when we have ice cream in the car. I refuse to clean up a puddle of Moose Tracks."
Clint grinned at Cooper, winking at him while Laura couldn't see. "We could just eat it off the carpet."
"Don't even think about giving your children ideas, Clint."
Cooper's face was a little redder as he rolled his eyes and half-turned away. "Dad, you're weird. That's unsanitary."
"What's unsanitary?" Lila asked, running back to the car and her family.
"Don't ask, Lila, you'll just provoke him." Nate securely buckled into his seat, Laura extracted herself from the Armada and waved at the older children. "Come on, everyone in! Let's get home before that puddle is real."
Cooper and Lila followed her directions, Lila climbing in the door Laura had left open while Cooper opened the one behind the driver's seat and pulled himself into his own seat. "Can we listen to something else on the way home, please?"
"What, you don't like Bon Jovi?" Clint asked as he paused in shutting Cooper's door.
His son gave a long-suffering, half-muffled sigh and groan. "That's, like, all you listen to, Dad. That and other stuff that's even more embarrassing."
Clint snorted at his son's phrasing. "Hey, don't go knocking Bon Jovi, kid. They're anything BUT embarrassing, they're immortal."
"Dad, they wore snake skin."
"I wanna wear snake skin!" Lila chimed in.
"No one's wearing snake skin," Laura interrupted, eying her husband and children through the car. "Come on, we need to get this show on the road. Moose Tracks puddle. Not something we need."
A grin split his face as Clint watched his son shrink in on himself a little. Cooper had started on his early-puberty growth spurt a couple months before and had shot up almost four inches in that time, but he was still as thin as he had been a year before, so it was kind of like watching a beanpole collapse on itself. He was well aware that his son wasn't trying to insult him and was just trying to find his own interests outside his parents' that he absorbed by proximity, but at the same time he couldn't resist giving him a hard time for this. And he knew exactly how to do it. "If you don't want Bon Jovi, I've got a Journey disc in the book."
Lila stared at him half in fascination and half in shock as Cooper actually moaned and raised both hands to cover his face. He knew what that meant. "Dad, no."
"Come on, Journey's always fun! You know how it is - you hear that piano and it's just...."
"Clint." Laura's voice was like a beacon to him and he looked up to grin at her over their children's heads, then threw his head back and launched right into the song. At the top of his lungs.
"JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL, LIVIN' IN A LONELY WORLD~"
Cooper shrank even more into his seat, hands still over his face and knees curling up in an instinctive defensive posture. Lila had that same mixture of fascination and shock on her face as she watched him, mouth open, as he kept singing; Laura had a very similar look on her face, but that smile he loved so much was threatening to overtake her face even as she blushed. He didn't sing much when they were around people not family, and so almost no one knew that he was actually very talented, but she'd always loved to hear him sing - though admittedly, this time was more like shouting than singing, and it was hard to hear any nuance in his voice.
And, he knew, she'd been fielding more of Cooper's early rebellions than him, so she was probably enjoying seeing his reaction here more than she'd admit.
"SHE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE~ Come on, babe!"
Laura burst into embarrassed laughter, face completely flushed but also not trying to run away from him. "Oh god, Clint, really?"
"That's not the words! JUST A CITY BOY, BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT~ HE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE~" Not bothering to shut Cooper's door, Clint jogged around the back of the Armada as he "sang," running right up to Laura and pulling her into a full-body embrace with his arms going easily around her waist. She was still laughing and buried her face in his shoulder for a moment as two women crossed behind the car, looking to the right to see the crazy man screaming cheesy eighties song lyrics in the parking lot of a Missouri WalMart. "Come on, Lala, sing along with me."
"That is not singing, Clint." But she looked up at him again, grinning, raising her arms to hook around his neck and willingly taking up the thread. At a lower volume. "A singer in a smokey room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume-"
To be fair, and not cause her her own case of deafness, Clint lowered his volume to match hers and grinned at her as he backed up just enough to be able to spin them both in a circle that caused her to break into another laugh, this one more delighted than before. "For a smile they can share the night, it goes on, and on, and on, and on~"
"Strangers-"
"Waiting-"
"Up and down the boulevard~"
"Their shadows-"
"Searching-"
"In the nii-iight~"
As they moved towards the driving lane at the back of the parking space, Lila spilled out of the car once more, staring at her parents as something that might have been a grin started to bloom across her face. Cooper, by this point, was completely invisible behind his seat back. Clint continued steering them into the open space, and he did not care at all that every single head in the parking lot was staring at them as they acted like a pair of goofy lovesick teenagers.
Laura's flush deepened as she realized that everyone could see them much more easily now that they weren't hidden by cars, but she also gave her husband a bit of a wicked grin and raised his arm above her head for her to spin under it in an impressive bit of impromptu choreography. "Streetlights-"
Clint pulled her into his side at the end of her spin, grinning at her widely before spinning her out again. "People-"
"Living just to find emotion~" She ducked under his arm again, then leaned into him before pushing off and kicking her heel up behind her, making her long skirt flare.
"Hidin' somewhere in the nii-iight~"
"DON'T STOP BELIEVING!" The new voice caused them both to turn in surprise as Lila launched herself at her father. Clint barely let go of Laura's hand quick enough to catch her, but managed to turn the near-fumble into a swing up and under his arm, making her laugh happily as he started spinning around in a circle to make them both dizzy. "HOLD ON TO THE FEELING!"
"IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON~" he yelled in response as he came to a halt, grinning and dizzy out of his mind. The lyrics had gotten mulched by Lila's sudden introduction, but Clint also didn't care, and he knew neither did Laura. This was just about them, and even if Cooper was more embarrassed by them than he'd ever been, it was still a fantastic, silly memory to hang on to.
"What is it, Coop?" Clint asked, not looking up from the legal pad on the table in front of him as he jotted down numbers and made quick sketches, deep in the last stages of planning that porch renovation he'd been promising Laura he'd get to for a year.
"Is Auntie Nat really my aunt?"
The unexpected question made Clint pause mid-seven and look up, meeting his six-year-old son's gaze as the boy watched him with those big dark eyes, so much like his mother's, his expression more troubled than he was used to seeing. If trends at this age held for the rest of their lives, then Lila was well on her way to being the more energetic, outgoing kid, while Cooper was quieter, more reflective, and probably more sensitive. Since Lila was just exiting the toddler stage it wasn't a guarantee that those designations would stick, but Clint had a feeling they would - which meant that Cooper would likely notice a lot of things without speaking about them, just like he was doing now. "What makes you ask that?"
His son blinked at him, not moving his gaze away and looking quietly solemn. "Micah's father saw her when she took me to school and asked. He says she doesn't look anything like you."
Setting down his pen, Clint turned to his son, all attention focused on an important subject but also not entirely sure how to handle this talk, not when Cooper was this young. "People don't have to look like each other to be related, Coop. You don't look like me and I'm your dad."
"I look like Mommy. And Lila looks like you. We both look like one of you, and you say I have your nose, and Lila has Mommy's mouth."
It was true. Clint sighed, sitting back in his chair a little, reaching up to rub his face with his hand as he tried to parse this situation. Laura was much better at dealing with this kind of thing, being able to find the right words to handle all the emotional things. Clint was very good at noticing and cataloging all the pieces, but he didn't always know how to put them together - Laura still teased him, over a decade later, about the fact that they'd gone on something close to a dozen dates before he'd even realized they were dates. She'd had to clue him in to it, too. But Laura wasn't here, so it was up to him to figure this out. "Come here, buddy."
Without hesitation, Cooper crossed the living room and climbed into his lap, even though he was getting too big for it, and Clint put his arms around his son to hold him there so he wouldn't fall off. The question about his family had clearly disturbed him, and Clint stifled a momentary wish to shake the man that had disturbed his son. "Okay. So. You know not everyone has a whole family, remember?" Cooper nodded, remaining silent for the time being. "Like me. My parents died when I wasn't much older than you."
"How?"
"They were driving home late at night, in a storm, and there was a crash." There'd also been a lot more to it than that, but Clint wasn't about to go into all the complicated feelings his parents invoked in him, not when his son was only six.
Cooper tilted his head up at his father, watching him closely in an uncanny imitation of his mother. "Is that why you and Mommy are always so careful driving and make us wear seat belts?"
"That's part of it. But that means until me and your mom got married, I didn't have any family. And I lived with a lot of other kids who didn't have family, too. So we were kind of like a family."
"And Auntie Nat was there?"
"No, she came later. But she also didn't have a family. They got separated when she was really young, and she doesn't remember their names." Clint paused, glancing around the kitchen for some sort of inspiration - and his eyes snagged on one of Lila's toys that had been left out, a plush doll of Jessie from the Toy Story movies, and his brain made about six instantaneous leaps from one thing to another in a lightning flash to the thing that might just help Cooper to understand. "You remember us watching Lilo & Stitch a couple months ago?"
Cooper nodded, looking so solemnly focused that it almost made him laugh. "Uh-huh. Lilo and her sister wanted a bigger family, so they went and got Stitch, so then they ended up with all of them as family."
"That's right, Coop. And you remember what Stitch said when the space people were trying to take him away at the end?"
His face scrunched up as he thought about it, but it was a losing battle from the start, even for a very smart kid. "...Ohana means family?"
Clint let a smile cross his face as he resettled his hold on Cooper's shoulders. "Well they said that, and that's a really good line, but that's not what I meant. That's okay, I'll tell you." He had something of a ridiculous knack for remembering specific phrases and lines people said, and at least right now it was coming in handy. "Ready? He said: This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good. And he'd changed by being in that family and coming to love them. And when your Auntie Nat and I met, it was like that - she was alone and didn't really know how to handle a lot of people, so I started spending time with her to help her out. And the more time we spent together, the more we realized how much we were alike and how well we got along. So we hung out more. And it just got bigger from there."
"So she's our auntie because... you chose her?"
"We chose each other. And it's one of the best decisions I ever made, right up there with marrying your mom."
"And we're really family?"
He nodded, once, firmly. "Uh-huh. She's our little blue space gremlin." One second too late, he realized that that had been the wrong thing to say, because Cooper would undoubtedly repeat it to Nat and then she would retaliate against him. Ah, crap. At least she'd probably be amused over it before she whacked him in the head. "Or not really a blue space gremlin, but it's the same idea. You can choose your family, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And the family you choose can be even more important to you than your 'real' one."
"But what if you like your real one?" Cooper asked, looking troubled.
"Then you can have both." Clint made his voice as firm as he could to reassure his son, and he was relieved to see some of the worry disappear. "A family is the people who love you and help you and do fun things together with you, blood or no blood. And if anyone ever tells you different, tell me and I'll have a talk with them."
"Okay, Daddy." Cooper nodded, shifting a little in his hold, and Clint released his grip to let Cooper slide to the floor. The boy gave him a quick hug which he returned, then walked off towards the stairs, but stopped and turned back before he could exist the living room. "Daddy?"
"Mmm?"
"...Can we watch it again tonight?"
Clint didn't try to hold back his smile at the question. "Sure, buddy."
"We got everything?"
"I counted fourteen bags at the end of the checkout, and we've got fourteen bags in the car. I think we're ready to roll." Clint shoved the rear door of the Armada closed, glancing around as he did so out of habit to make sure that nothing had fallen out of the cart or been tossed out by an energetic four-month-old baby. Sure enough, one of Nate's rattles was on the asphalt, and he bent down to pick it up as Laura focused on buckling him into his car seat and Lila ran the cart to the return corral. "You sure we don't need to stop anywhere else on the way home?"
"I'm sure," came Laura's voice, slightly muffled from being inside the car. "And I'm not stopping anywhere else when we have ice cream in the car. I refuse to clean up a puddle of Moose Tracks."
Clint grinned at Cooper, winking at him while Laura couldn't see. "We could just eat it off the carpet."
"Don't even think about giving your children ideas, Clint."
Cooper's face was a little redder as he rolled his eyes and half-turned away. "Dad, you're weird. That's unsanitary."
"What's unsanitary?" Lila asked, running back to the car and her family.
"Don't ask, Lila, you'll just provoke him." Nate securely buckled into his seat, Laura extracted herself from the Armada and waved at the older children. "Come on, everyone in! Let's get home before that puddle is real."
Cooper and Lila followed her directions, Lila climbing in the door Laura had left open while Cooper opened the one behind the driver's seat and pulled himself into his own seat. "Can we listen to something else on the way home, please?"
"What, you don't like Bon Jovi?" Clint asked as he paused in shutting Cooper's door.
His son gave a long-suffering, half-muffled sigh and groan. "That's, like, all you listen to, Dad. That and other stuff that's even more embarrassing."
Clint snorted at his son's phrasing. "Hey, don't go knocking Bon Jovi, kid. They're anything BUT embarrassing, they're immortal."
"Dad, they wore snake skin."
"I wanna wear snake skin!" Lila chimed in.
"No one's wearing snake skin," Laura interrupted, eying her husband and children through the car. "Come on, we need to get this show on the road. Moose Tracks puddle. Not something we need."
A grin split his face as Clint watched his son shrink in on himself a little. Cooper had started on his early-puberty growth spurt a couple months before and had shot up almost four inches in that time, but he was still as thin as he had been a year before, so it was kind of like watching a beanpole collapse on itself. He was well aware that his son wasn't trying to insult him and was just trying to find his own interests outside his parents' that he absorbed by proximity, but at the same time he couldn't resist giving him a hard time for this. And he knew exactly how to do it. "If you don't want Bon Jovi, I've got a Journey disc in the book."
Lila stared at him half in fascination and half in shock as Cooper actually moaned and raised both hands to cover his face. He knew what that meant. "Dad, no."
"Come on, Journey's always fun! You know how it is - you hear that piano and it's just...."
"Clint." Laura's voice was like a beacon to him and he looked up to grin at her over their children's heads, then threw his head back and launched right into the song. At the top of his lungs.
"JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL, LIVIN' IN A LONELY WORLD~"
Cooper shrank even more into his seat, hands still over his face and knees curling up in an instinctive defensive posture. Lila had that same mixture of fascination and shock on her face as she watched him, mouth open, as he kept singing; Laura had a very similar look on her face, but that smile he loved so much was threatening to overtake her face even as she blushed. He didn't sing much when they were around people not family, and so almost no one knew that he was actually very talented, but she'd always loved to hear him sing - though admittedly, this time was more like shouting than singing, and it was hard to hear any nuance in his voice.
And, he knew, she'd been fielding more of Cooper's early rebellions than him, so she was probably enjoying seeing his reaction here more than she'd admit.
"SHE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE~ Come on, babe!"
Laura burst into embarrassed laughter, face completely flushed but also not trying to run away from him. "Oh god, Clint, really?"
"That's not the words! JUST A CITY BOY, BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT~ HE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE~" Not bothering to shut Cooper's door, Clint jogged around the back of the Armada as he "sang," running right up to Laura and pulling her into a full-body embrace with his arms going easily around her waist. She was still laughing and buried her face in his shoulder for a moment as two women crossed behind the car, looking to the right to see the crazy man screaming cheesy eighties song lyrics in the parking lot of a Missouri WalMart. "Come on, Lala, sing along with me."
"That is not singing, Clint." But she looked up at him again, grinning, raising her arms to hook around his neck and willingly taking up the thread. At a lower volume. "A singer in a smokey room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume-"
To be fair, and not cause her her own case of deafness, Clint lowered his volume to match hers and grinned at her as he backed up just enough to be able to spin them both in a circle that caused her to break into another laugh, this one more delighted than before. "For a smile they can share the night, it goes on, and on, and on, and on~"
"Strangers-"
"Waiting-"
"Up and down the boulevard~"
"Their shadows-"
"Searching-"
"In the nii-iight~"
As they moved towards the driving lane at the back of the parking space, Lila spilled out of the car once more, staring at her parents as something that might have been a grin started to bloom across her face. Cooper, by this point, was completely invisible behind his seat back. Clint continued steering them into the open space, and he did not care at all that every single head in the parking lot was staring at them as they acted like a pair of goofy lovesick teenagers.
Laura's flush deepened as she realized that everyone could see them much more easily now that they weren't hidden by cars, but she also gave her husband a bit of a wicked grin and raised his arm above her head for her to spin under it in an impressive bit of impromptu choreography. "Streetlights-"
Clint pulled her into his side at the end of her spin, grinning at her widely before spinning her out again. "People-"
"Living just to find emotion~" She ducked under his arm again, then leaned into him before pushing off and kicking her heel up behind her, making her long skirt flare.
"Hidin' somewhere in the nii-iight~"
"DON'T STOP BELIEVING!" The new voice caused them both to turn in surprise as Lila launched herself at her father. Clint barely let go of Laura's hand quick enough to catch her, but managed to turn the near-fumble into a swing up and under his arm, making her laugh happily as he started spinning around in a circle to make them both dizzy. "HOLD ON TO THE FEELING!"
"IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON~" he yelled in response as he came to a halt, grinning and dizzy out of his mind. The lyrics had gotten mulched by Lila's sudden introduction, but Clint also didn't care, and he knew neither did Laura. This was just about them, and even if Cooper was more embarrassed by them than he'd ever been, it was still a fantastic, silly memory to hang on to.